My dearest parent

As for me, parent is the most precious thing Allah gives me. 

They're a Gift from Allah to me. 

So I am to them. 

I have 9 siblings. Yes it's unusual to have so many siblings. 

but sometimes this amazed me too. 

How did my parent could nurtured their children very well? 

They're amazing person. They deserve an honour and respect.  

But still. 

I can't respect and honour them as they deserve. 

I'm very despicable. I'm disgrace. 

Really, I tend to follow my feelings and anger. 

There's so many time i hurt them with my words. 

When i did it, i know it's wrong. 

You know, I'm human. 

Sometimes we do something even we know that is wrong.  

I just couldn't control myself. 

My parent didn't express if they hurt. 

They bottle them inside. 

Mak, ayah...

I'm sorry for being a worst child. 

I want to change this. 

I don't want this 'me'. 

I hate it. 

Everytime i think about the things i did to both of you. 

I felt like i did not deserve to be your child. 

But of course, i can't say that way. 

Allah has created me. 

i believe everything happen to me and in this world are for some reason. 

So, Allah made me also for many reasons. 

-- Thanks God for my wonderful parent -- 

Empty heart

               I feel empty. This time really... 

         My heart like an empty can in bin. 

I feel like something is missing 

I must find what the thing is 

I try... 

maybe it's just a boredom cascaded over me. 

so, i listened to music, instrumental...

facebook-ing, rummaged around for new and interesting information,

reading a lot of books...Reading is my ruling passion. But still i found nothing from them. 

Yeah, it is interesting story books but it's just for a while. 

But for a long-term of period i don't think reading is a good idea. 

I can't read 24/7, of course. it's absurd. 

In the facebook, all my friend posting about religious stuff. 

seems like they know a lot of things about Islam. 

not like me. 

I'm Muslim. 

but i hardly put any words about Islamic stuff. 

The all thing i post are about me, about life, my thoughts...

the fact is no one care what you think of, your thoughts. 

I completely far far away from my God. 

The one who creates me. 

my Lord.  

I'm lost. 

Lost into a deep jungle. it's like impossible for me to find a way out. 

Dear myself, still it's not too late to find the way out. 

You must search for it.  

Come on, wake up!  

Live is only once. Once you dead you can't open you eyes anymore.

You can't back to live anymore. The soil, the white cloth, the animals that would eat your flesh would be your only companion.

Then, It's too late for you to regret and seek for forgiveness. 

So, what're you waiting for? 

"Death" comes unexpectedly. 

it didn't wait for you till you happy enough or rich enough. 

It might be as well comes for us when we still in our journey. 

Or maybe after a breath, or maybe after a blink of an eye or maybe a second after this. 

We can't tell. 

So, the only thing you could do is be prepared. 

Prepare for a death. 

-- From me, to myself -- 

Doggies~~

Dogs and cats are very cute.  

Yes, they are. 

Dog is very synonym with .Loyalty. 

Dog is one of the animal species to die for. 

Well, i own a cat. Oh, i mean cats. 

2 Silly cats. Siamese breed and 'whatsit' breed. (I guess it's just ordinary kampung cat). 

The Siamese one is male. I named him Puteh. 

The whatsit one is female. Well, i don't have the exact name for her. Poor cat. =( 

These 2 silly completely disloyal. Of course not, they're cat. CAT. 

We should expect nothing much from cats. 

Cats can't be trained how to sit-stay-speak. They're the king in their owner house. 

Their needs must be fulfilled or they won't stop meowing.  

This what cats make me sick.  

But still cats have their own fans. 

i bet because they're loving, pampered. 

Sometimes i found that cats have natural humor, effortlessly. 

So, what makes me adore dog so much? 

I don't know when i'm starting to love dog. 

I'm a Muslim, so it's kinda weird for me to love dog. 

There's nothing wrong with the dog. Muslims can still adopt a dog, but there's a boundaries. 

Okay, i will not talking about the boundaries here. 

I know a lot of dogs type. (Even you don't want to read them, i'm still gonna to mention them.)

Basset hound, Pit bull terrier, American staffordshire terrier, cocker spaniel,

Tibetan Mastiff, Bull Mastiff, boxer, Whippet, Lab Retriever, Golden Retriever, Rottweiler, Border 

Collie (The most intelligent dog), Poodle, Afghan Hound (The most dumbest dog, i guess), Jack Russell Terrier, Pug, English 

Bulldog, Caucasian Shepherd, German Shepherd, Siberian Husky, Chihuahua (God, I hate 

chihuahua), Argentina Dogo, Chow Chow, Akita, Shar-pei, blood hound, Saint Bernard.....

..........man, i need a whole week to list all type of breed.

-- God, my hands starting to cramp --

If i have a chance to adopt a dog, I will choose Rottweiler (The badass guard dog), and Caucasian Shepherd...wait! Caucasian Shepherd?? Hell no. This type maybe the most badass guard dog. 

But, hey..i'm a crouch potato. I would not wasting my time by grooming some bastard fur. 

If you adopt a Caucasian Shepherd, the furs will scatter your entire house. No. no. I can't tolerate with furs. I mean, not with animal which has excessive furs.  

Border Collie is the smart dog (i may consider this type also). So, it would be easy to train. 

 they were great with kids and make wonderful family pets. 

But...no. no. Definitely not. 

This is herding dog. Very active and athletic. 

They require considerable daily physical exercise and mental stimulation. 

If not, the can be very destructive. No way!  

So, I would prefer a Rottweiler. :) 

If, if...if...i have a chance to adopt a dog... :s

Shopping spree!!

I love to shop. Hell yeah. But i amazed my mom and siblings (my dad is not included). 

I love to do shopping but i'll not wasting my money with something like

clothes, handbag, shoes and whatsoever..

and..yeah, from here you can guess what type of person am i. 

--I'm not a fashionable type-- 

so, for those who're Metro-sexual...i'm not a person you're looking for. 

if yes then you got a wrong person. hehe. No offence. 

Well, i rather spending my money with Books. 

Oh, god. You don't know how much i'm in love with books. 

Book shops turn me on. Ooppss! 

Last week, i went to KL and Selangor and I have a GREAT time. 

What a BLAST to spend a whole day in the book shops. Unfortunately, i live in Kuala Terengganu. 

So, there isn't much of book store here.  

I guess the people in Terengganu are not into reading. What makes me say that.

Well, there's a shop which is called Pustaka Seri Intan. The shop sell a lot of books. 

All type of books. Revision and exercise books for all subjects, Islamic books, Malay novels and also English novel. English novels are what i'm looking for. 

Well, many books there draw my attention. Of course i can't buy them all in one time. The shop is hardly sell English novel. Okay. I go to the shop today, and when i come there in 3 weeks, the same books are still there. From my opinion, most of terengganunians (I invented this word but i don't know if it's work) are likely more into Malay novels. So there's no point of opening a big book store here like MPH, Popular, Bookxcess or Kinokuniya (I rather crawling from my place to go to this heavens. I mean heaven for an avid reader). 

Last week, i went to the Bookxcess in Amcorpmall (Gosh, the price of the books are ridiculously cheap) and Popular books store in Amcorpmall and Jusco. 

Well, I discovered my new trait. Shophaholic. I'm a shophaholic in a different way. 

Without take even a one glance to my purse, i kept reaching the books. Struggling to keep the books in my arm from sliding onto the floor. 

and...what a surprise!!! jeng...jeng..jeng...!! 

--- RM 300.00 --- 

haha, thanks god there's RM 300 in my purse.  

Guess how many books i bought. 

-- 10 BOOKS --  

It's unusual and abnormal for me to buy 10 books. I mean in A DAY! 

Holy crap! 

there it is.....

            Hey, i found that i used to talk about others in my blog. Every time i try to burst out my brain's nerve to spill an idea, i ended up by talking about others. Seriously, it's really a bad attitude. but, i just can't stand some people who......(there it is, it's come again.).

*take a deep breath*

Okay now. Normal mood.

Okay, the only thing i want to say here is every time i want to do a story, i ended up telling a crappy thing. I completely have zero talent in story-telling. The all things i know is FACTS. *sigh*. I just know how to write the fact. My sister once told me that i have no talent in writing. ----> AGREE.

but this is my chance to boost my skill in writing. So, just let me try, okay.