Empty

It's almost 10 months i'm staying at home since STPM examination. 
and...1 week left. Next week i'll having a new life at university. I'll live a university student's life. Well, seems like a lot of things awaiting me.  
I could sense there will be a lot of challenges. Nervous. 

Ok, let's get back to the topic. Empty. 10 months at home yet i did nothing.  
There's no improvement in soft skill and languages i made. I waste my time and i couldn't go back. I have to move on and live in regret. In university, I'll regret for wasting so much time at home and now, I am. 

Day by day, the lesser book i read. be it english or malay. I don't have motivation at all to keep learning. I didn't practice writing at all. Now, it takes me 10 minutes to construct just one sentence! argh! I have no idea what to write. I forget a lot of vocabulary and yeah, i will not mention about the grammar. you could judge how bad my grammar and sentence structure are just by reading this.  

Once you lost the momentum it's hard to find them back. I lost it all. A momentum of reading, momentum of writing, momentum of praying. I. Lost. It. All. and now i don't know where to find them back. I completely lost.  God help me.  

Thinking of my life at home this bad makes me wonder how bad my life in university could be. God, guide me all the way there. Guide me.